For the past month, I’ve had little flashes of anger. They’re usually sparked by something triviial or NOTHING AT ALL. I’ll be at work or at home, and I’ll just get…mad. I can feel my blood boiling. But then it goes away after a few minutes.
I’m sure that they’re the result of: My clinical depression, my living situation, my finances and just years of me not saying how I feel. But why it’s happening like THIS, I don’t know. It’s so weird, and horrible at the same time.
I partially blame myself. I’ve always been a fairly tactful person, especially if I’m cool with you. I don’t always say how I feel. I don’t always express when I’m hurt or angry, mainly because I don’t want to stir up issues, but also because I tend to get angry about things after they’ve already happened. Someone will say some rude/mean/stupidasfuck shit and it’ll mildly annoy me at first, so I don’t say anything, but within three days or so, I’m mad as FUCK. But I don’t bring it up because I don’t want to seem petty.
Even explaining it to people makes me angry, so I can’t even talk about it. Right now, I’m angry. I feel like cursing at someone or throwing something. But I can’t, so I have to just deal.
Yesterday, I tweeted about this horrible book called “Alfie’s Home”, by Richard Cohen. I don’t mind that the topic was so controversial, but it bothers me that, like so many people, the author seemed to tie being gay with being a pedophile, and that he made it seem like all gay men are just looking for love that they didn’t get from their dads. Maybe I’m reaching…thoughts? Here’s the link